First of all, I’d like to address what you asked of us in class – yes, I think this is completely appropriate for class. It’s not like we’re an exactly Puritan crew or anything, and the roadtrip theme is something eerily consistent among our generation in particular. Unfortunately, this might change if gas prices keep going up, and up…
I think you have something quite good here, and there are a few suggestions I would like to make:

- your last line, “everything must go”, is a much better title for the piece than Puffy the Wonder Mule, since it speaks to the impermanence of both life and Los Angeles in a nostalgic and deeply human way that most readers can identify with.
- in the first para, you say “… I also probably wondered…”; I would suggest ditching the probably. Your recollection is otherwise certain throughout, and this serves to undermine your own authority somewhat. It made me pause when I read it, and question validity…
- the play on maroon doesn’t really work: ‘maroon car marooned…’ I understand the decision, but it’s just too pat, and your humor is otherwise pitched really well, so…
- other than some clarifying and tightening throughout, there’s not much to be done. I like it, and hope you do stay with this for your last submission to class. I’m posting my own 3rd piece here momentarily – please let me know what you think. I need some help, especially since it’s not a complete draft…

Thanks for the read.